They say change is a good thing and yes, we all know it is. It is the place that allows us to grow, the place where new opportunities and journeys are born, yet it still can be one heck of an adjustment. The adjustment can be magnified when not only are we having big personal changes (and yes they can be good) but when our immediate circle of loved ones are also experiencing a shift.
Why is it called a midlife crisis? Why not a midlife awakening? Is it so wrong, after years of following the rules that our parents, teachers and society has laid out before us to finally wake up and take back our youthful wonder and engagement in the world? You often hear he/she is crazy they are acting like a child. Why does he need to buy a fast car? Why is she working out all the time? What do they have to prove?
In our quest to place things in a tidy little box is it possible that our comments are laden with jealously and discomfort because we too long to be adventurous and live yet we don't have the guts to do it. When did getting older mean depleting the zest from our life. How can we be a good example for our children or the world at large if we lose sight of the wonder that is around us? Can we not work hard, be good people and have fun too?
It is important to remember that a transition in life may or may not be chosen. Forced change can show up with the sudden loss of a loved, divorce or a loss of a job and these moments in life are more than what we call change. For many people these moments can feel very similar to death because the way they occur can be sudden and often devastating. It is important to recognize that a desired change and well calculated plan to do so is not the same as a sudden transition. A sudden transition can leave you feeling like your whole life is fallng apart. When we experience a sudden emotional blow to the head that sends us reeling we need to take time to regroup and consider our alternatives. However, this is often easier said than done because we don't have the time to plan for the fallout that a big life change can present so it makes us feel unprepared and afraid. We don't know what the hell happened and better yet have no idea where to even start to stop the nightmare.